more than just a book review.

July, 5th, 2015.

I have been reading this book. I don't want to admit that it is a pregnancy book, because those kind have bad reviews and scare the living hell out of you. So let's just call it Beth Ann Fennelly's book, Great with Child. I do not dare classify it as a the P word, for one reason and one reason only; it talks more about feelings and relationships than it actually does about the physical act of creating a child. Beth Ann is a poet in practice and in heart and every single word she writes is like a symphony of emotions - the good ones and the not so good ones as well.

Yesterday, while laying in bed recuperating from the long holiday weekend, I came upon this quote: " I think our inability to recall and relieve the memory of pain has to do with the fact that during hard labor, you go to a place beyond language." Yes, we all fear child labor, and dare I say it I am one of the scared ones. However, If I have learnt one thing about this whole process is that there are no words to fully describe it.

I've always hated the fact that other women wouldn't share what it was like to carry a child. Now that I have been the one that has been dealt that hand, I understand that I misplace the word couldn't with a wouldn't. I am now in that place of discomfort. I can't seem to tell my story; and here I thought that this was my best trait - storytelling! Give me numbers, and I can't add much; however give me a piece of paper, a pen and words, I will tell you all.

Sure, I can meticulously describe the physical symptoms like nausea, low blood pressure, fatigue. But  this is not exactly what it was before; it didn't feel the same before I was pregnant. Is it because just like child birth there is something greater that just the physical pain? Or maybe there is already an emotional attachment greater than I can possible be aware of? Perhaps it is all the above colliding into something so big that what your body is enduring no longer seems like a burden to carry. On the contrary, you start carrying it with pride!

At this point, all I can say. Today. IS that I have never trusted my body as much as I do now. Therefore, I am letting go. Allowing it to do what it does best. I have a tiny little feeling that Beth Ann was right and when all is said and done, I will be reborn and "recollect the pain as bellonging to the old life, the way the butterfly unfolding her wet wings recollects the cocoon."



Like I have said before, I no longer hold my words as a statement of truth. My emotions maybe. So forgive me if all this seems out of the ordinary. These are true feelings that one night I scribbled down  in my journal. I would love to hear from you - that is if you have experienced such things. If not, maybe just a hello?!

Hope you come back soon,

M  

books i love: this is the story of a happy marriage

Ann Patchett has been a breath of fresh air. It's been a while since I've read short stories and even longer since I've embraced a nonfiction book. But my oh my, how I love the way she writes! This is a story of an affection for books, dogs, one tough Nun and, yes, a husband. 

I came across this book on Instagram. After many years of posting pictures on this magnificent app, I have sort of accumulated friends that even though we have never met in person before, we share the same interest. One of them, is reading. I was almost done with my second Outlander book and didn't feel exactly compelled to commit to another 900 pages of Mrs. Gabaldon's novel. This was when I stumbled upon a post where Ann Patchett's short stories were being praised. So I took the risk and ordered the book online.  

The main essay's title is not misleading, just limiting. At first I thought it was going to be somewhat related to the story of her marriage, but it was so much more than that. This book is about much more than love, marriage or divorce. It's about how she became the kind of writer and person that she is now, and what she learned in the process. Her style is not overly confessional, but it is beguiling in ways that make her sound like someone you'd want to know. 

Trust me, go buy (loan from library, borrow from friend...) yourself a copy. It is well worth it! 

Hope you come back soon,

m

the power of reading

Living in Los Angeles can be challenging. Like most cities, it is hard to find your ideal neighborhood and even harder to afford living there when you do. It's hard to navigate at first and adapt to the ever changing trends.  Plus the average commute can sometimes be overbearing. However, with challenges comes opportunities, and that is the reason Chris and I moved here. As a matter of fact, the reason why we have always lived in big cities.

My commute to work isn't as bad as it could be, but no one likes sitting in traffic even if it is for only 30 minutes. After memorizing all songs that the radio had to offer, I came to the conclusion that I needed more. A lot more! That is when I got totally hooked on podcasts. Seriously, they are great!
I am currently listening to. Strangers and Reading Lives and today I wanted to talk about Reading Lives. Not because it's my favorite of the two. They are actually completely different and I enjoy them in different ways. But, because I came across this quote the other day, and it made me think about the podcast, and consequently my relationship with books.

Reading Lives is an interview podcast with interesting people about how books and stories has changed them personally and professionally. How it made their life choices different, and how it has molded them into who they are. After listening to a few interviews I started thinking of my own story, and saw myself asking the same questions. Have I always been as interested in reading as I am now? When was it that I figured that out? What made me like literature so much?

The first vivid memory I have of reading goes back to the age of 6. This was when my family moved to England for my dad's PHD and I was first exposed to the English language (I'm originally from Brazil if you haven't been following for long.) When I look back, curiosity was what drove my interest in books. The challenge of learning a new language with different set of structural rules composing clauses, phrases and storytelling! Ah, storytelling. That was what made me stay longer. After the curiosity died down and English was no longer a foreign language, I started noticing I was addicted to good storytelling.

After long years of reading, writing and immersing myself in books, I decided that the only thing that I was inclined to ever love was literature. So, off I went to college to pursue it as a degree. College went as it usually should for any young adult. There was euphoria at first, stressful "will never be able to memorize all these Greek goddess" moments, and then there was change. Literature no longer made sense to me. Not as a profession at least. But the books; they remained. And they will always remain. They helped me shape the person I am, how I see the world, and how I write. Thanks to all the authors I read throughout my life, I can make a living writing - even if it is online marketing. I create content, thanks to the stories that I read. I crave that perfectly worded paragraph, and the feeling of getting blown away by good, subtle writing.

Sure, sometimes I regret changing major in school and how I crave dissecting stories alongside cultural and historical facts. However, that will always be a part of me. It will always be present in the way I read and write. It made me a better reader and I will forever be grateful for all the books that I have held in my hands, and all the stories that remain in my heart.

Now, on to you! Do you love reading? What's your first memory of holding a book? How did it effect your life - if it ever did?

xoxo,

m

books i love: outlander series

There is a ton of talk surrounding the Outlander series ever since the start of the show on Starz network. After reading online reviews a few months back, I decided to give it a try and have not put it down ever since. For those who are new to the Outlander series, here is a little background on the book. 

Diana Gabaldon published the first novel in 1991 and there has been 7 subsequent books after that. The story is about love, war and politics. Most mostly about love. I would even dare to say it's one of the greatest love stories ever written. Yes. There is a lot of sex. However, I found it to also be deeply intimate and true, brutal, and real. Claire Randall and Jamie Fraser, while apart, are deeply attractive and sympathetic characters with a good deal of nobility about them. Throw them together in a love story? They are beautifully frail, selfish, angry, flawed. I love that statement. I really find them so incredibly touching and real. 

But the book encompasses more than just love and it doesn't follow any typical romance formula. It is a real genre bender that doesn't fit neatly into any one category. At it's heart Outlander is a historical novel with incredible details of the 18th century life in the Scottish Highlands. But it is also about medical treatment at the time and the reality of what people would have suffered without it. Even though the time travel aspect and a few references to witches and fairies, Outlander escapes from the usual fantasy and paranormal stories since it is just a detail in this complex world.   

Diana Gabaldon is a damn good writer who explores deep into her character's lives and the history surrounding them. She will bring out such raw emotions that you are guaranteed to laugh, cry and want to throw the book across the room. Outlander is a not a book for everyone, however if you are willing to set aside stereotypes and embrace historical differences, give it a try. It will change the way you think and feel about love, respect, commitment and sacrifice.  

books to read in 2015

1. Bread and Wine  2. This is The Story of a Happy Marriage  3. A Moveable Feast  4. The Headmistress of Rosemere 

2014 for me has been a very slow reading year. For one reason only: I seemed o have chosen the longest books to read. First there was The Goldfinch, then I initiated by obsession with the Outlander Series - where each book has over 700 pages. Truth be said, if you look at it from amount of reading I think I did a pretty good job - approximately 2,500 pages in a year! :)

 

Jokes aside, I decided to take a different route this year. I'm going for short and sweet. Feel good novels about relationships, food, wine and Paris! I don't think you can go wrong with any of the items above.

 

Do you have any book recommendations? If so please do share. My favorite weekly task is to update my never ended "to-read" list on GoodReads.com ;) Hope you have a fantastic weekend.

xoxo,

m    

books i love: the goldfinch

Every time I finish reading the last page of a good book, I look around, and realize that everyone is just carrying on with their lives and that what I just read didm;t really affect anyone around me. It's as though I didn't just experience the sequence of emotions and immediately I feel the trauma of letting go of the characters. Because I know that as soon as I take my hands of the paperback, they will cease to exist. 

It is pretty traumatizing. You may even say it is weird. But I go through it every single time, and it never seems to get any better. Anyways, I have recently just finished reading Donna Tartt's, The Goldfinch and may I say WOW! Never expected it to turn out to be an outstanding book. Never thought it would bring me to tears and give me goosebumps all through the last chapter. Needless to say, I am feeling nostalgic about letting go of Theo, Boris, and Hobie. So, to make matters easier, I decided to re-read my favorite part of the book and write it down for you to read :) 

"Whatever teaches us to talk to ourselves is important: whatever teaches us to sing ourselves out of despair. But the painting has also taught me that we can speak to each other across time. And I feel I have something very serious and urgent to say to you, my non-existing reader, and I feel I should say it as urgently as if I were standing in the room with you. That life - whatever it is - is short. That fate is cruel but maybe not random. That Nature (meaning Death) always wins but that doesn't mean we have to bow and grovel to it. That maybe even if we're not always so glad to be here, it's our task to immerse ourselves anyway: wade straight through it, right through the cesspool, while keeping eyes and hearts opened. And in the midst of our dying, as we rise from the organic and sink back ignominiously into the organic, it is a glory and privilege to love what Death doesn't touch." 

Have you read The Goldfinch yet? What was your take on it?

xoxo,

m