Hello sweet friends! How has life been treating you?
Lately I've been having a reoccurring feeling of guilt. Guilt that even though life has given me a great job and good opportunities in a new city, I can't help but constantly remind myself of the downside to it all. The one thing that bothers me the most is this blog... I set my standards high - I have to publish 3 posts a week like I used to. However, life has changed and my job has become more demanding. Chris and I have a pup to take care of, and we are spending so much more time with each other. All these things did not happen back in DC, and I did have a ton of spare time to create content and write. Nonetheless, these are not awful things, on the contrary they are amazing! I am extremely happy that all this is happening and it's about time I said it out loud. I am perfectly aware that there are people out there with a lot more on their plate. Also, I know that I am probably not managing my time well, and that everyone gets the same 24 hours and it ultimately boils down to what you do with them and how you prioritize.
With that said, I am starting to figure out what really matters to me, and what I can let go of. Part of the problem here is that with life being so fast paced, it's incredibly easy to get pushed around and allow yourself to float through your own life. Sometimes I see myself complaining it is Monday and that the weekend went by so incredibly fast and because of that, I give up on that week and do absolutely nothing but work until the week is over. And just like that 5 days of my life have gone by without any sliver of joy or fulfillment. I know what it is that makes me tick and I NEED to make room for them. Beyond our day-to-day task that are our primary responsibilities (like job, marriage, bills, etc) there are other things that we forget are as important to us as the latter. The stuff that makes us smile, giggle and fill our heart - whatever that may be for you - should not be labeled as "extras". We should not give up these things because they are the ones that keep us moving forward and makes life worth living! It may be cooking, reading, napping. Whatever makes you tick. For me right now, it's reading and letting myself become apart of the characters world, immersing in whatever they are feeling and taking it as if it were my own life. It's being lazy in bed on the weekends while Chris and the pup are fast asleep sharing the same pillow. It's turning Spotify up loud while the cheesiest country songs are playing and pretending I live somewhere down south and actually have dirt roads to drive on.
I do not want to float through life. I will not float! For that I wish to seek a slower pace - or at least the slowest one can find living in LA. Stop asking myself too much and start where I am. Use what I have. Do what I can.
Have a great weekend!
p.s: don't forget to share your thoughts in the comments. that too brings a smile to my face :)